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Has it really been this long since I last posted? I can’t believe over 2 months have passed, I have been intending to post for a good while now, but better late than never.

One of the main reasons I haven’t posted is because of some tragic news. Really tragic news.

For the last 3 years I have kept every ‘U Couldn’t Make It Up’ story, quote, headline, funny name in one sketchbook – my ‘U Couldn’t Make It Up bible’ I like to call it. Well a few weeks back I was on the train back to Worcester. I had taken my ‘bible’ home to begin writing again, well unfortunately my ‘bible’ never made it to Worcester because someone stole my rucksack on the train without me knowing.

My ‘bible’ was the least costliest item in my rucksack, but it is far the most valuable item to me I had lost. If whoever stole it reads it, god knows what they will think, I hope it makes them laugh at least. Cunt.

For those who are interested, how did it get stolen? Well I put my rucksack on the ‘suitcase’ shelving section by the train doors and sat in front of the shelving section. When I got up at Worcester it was gone! Now I and everyone knows the police will never find it but I didn’t realise they were this useless. My detective couldn’t be bothered to ring up lost property numbers so wanted to email them to me to do it, she wouldn’t look at any CCTV because that would take time (is that not your job?) and amazingly she claimed I probably lost it, not had it stolen, and that I shouldn’t ring the police if I lost it. No your right detective, it just disappeared from the shelving unit on its own and I must have lost it. You really can’t expect anyone to help you out these days can you.

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